I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
