I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize