Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
