You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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