i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I think your dad took our porno
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
