So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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