im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Terrible idea I love it
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
