I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
