I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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