Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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