Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
