erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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