dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
