Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
