$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
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Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
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Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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