Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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