So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
