well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I need to sanitize my soul.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
