I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
