I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
