He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
