Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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