I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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