We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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