Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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