Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I don't deserve a penis
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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