Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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