Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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