I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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