Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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