Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
