I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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