Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
