yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
