: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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