C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
