Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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