Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
