i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
