So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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