I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize