I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
