are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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