oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
