im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
