i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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