My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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