I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
