I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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