you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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