Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
