Slut skills are useful in every country.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
