it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
