At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
